Caught in the crossfire of someone else’s cruelty
She tiptoes up my spine, testing for weak points
“They hate you.” She whispers,
Devouring my faith with an angry smile
I thought I got over girls like her, decades ago
but it seems I’m infected, have not fully recovered
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll forget her, and myself.
Looking backwards, I ask myself, “What was I, before I was caught?”
I wasn’t a butterfly. This cocoon isn’t going to magically transform me into something beautiful and liberated.
I watch through the gaps, others with wings, whose lives are vibrant and magnificent.
I visited them today, crawled out, and flapped around pretending to be one of them, briefly. I felt joy, and hope, and remembered myself, until it was time to return.
Sleepwalking through this life
Dreaming of a new one.
“Overblown and dramatic!” You judge from the outside
But I Question this godless, empty vacuum
Waiting for something to save me
A religious residue from a life left behind
You say, “It must be hard to find anyone, when.”
“When I’m still living in limbo with him.” I reply, my heart
If one more helpful stranger tells me
What I already know
This feeling will get deeper,
The time, longer
So I dream of my own fictitious ending.